Joy in Pictures

I spent a few minutes looking at pictures of my year tonight. I have to say, even with all of the bad, it's been a pretty darn good year! Lots of fun and laughter! I'm thankful!

Disappointment

I gained 5.2 lbs this week! Bummer!

But it was so worth it! The good news is that I kept running the entire time, and worked out every day. So you can only guess what I ate in order to have such a big weight gain. Also, it's good as a reminder of how this is a full lifestyle change. Anything can happen, and that weight goes right back on!

Oh well! I'm excited for the New Years eve run! I have 4 students going with me now! We're hitting a hockey game first. Should be a good time!

Reflection

A great Christmas with family and friends. I feel so blessed today! It seems like for so many years I was either flying on Christmas, driving on Christmas, or getting ready to leave days after Christmas, and time with family has felt short, or like I was missing out. Today was a day filled with joy and blessings.

So tonight, as I sit by my fake fire lit up, and my beautiful tree, I am spending moments in reflection. I love to look at my ornaments, each ornament has a story. This year, many ornaments were added, or some were just given more meaning.

After reading so many Christmas letters, and a few blogs of people who are reflecting on their years, I decided that tonight would be a great night to reflect on my year. This year was a mix of highs and lows. I will only point out the things I really remember.

January- The year started out with one of my best friends, spending a relaxing weekend at the beach. We decided to head to "the Dune," which is the only restaurant/pub/bar open in Manzanita for New Years Eve. It was quite the place to be! It was there that Ali met her future (or so we think) husband! Although it doesn't really have much to do with me, it was a fun thing to be a part of! And also, Ali's friendship is one of those things that I have been thankful for this year. I realize that I have found some really great friends here in Hillsboro. I knew it before, but as the relationships grow, I just keep realizing how lucky I am.

February- a BIG month! It started with my two best friends (Jen and Lori) coming to visit me from Texas. We had our second annual "Girls Weekend" in Manzanita. Such a great time just being together and relaxing at the cabin.

The following weekend, my roommate and I hosted an "Opening Ceremony Party" for the Olympics. We went all out, and I made Oregon heart cookies, which ended up being a key for the year, since I made them over and over sending them to different people. Anyways... The next morning I woke up, and within an hour, I was in the emergency room with a kidney stone. I was sick for the next two weeks, on my parent's couch. This was the wake up call that I needed. I had been wanting to get in shape for my trip to Europe, but kept putting it off. Well, while I was sick, I realized that Europe was fast approaching, so I started making wiser decisions about what I was eating, and started going to the gym. I started with the dance class that my secretary teaches, and had a lot of fun. I took the class Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and then she and I would work out Tuesdays and Thursdays.

March- I don't remember much about March, except that I was doing this new work out schedule with Debbi. Oh, I guess one other major life change happened in March. My parents asked me to join Weight Watchers with them. I gave in, and agreed...and 40 lbs later, boy am I glad I did! Between my whole family, we have lost a junior higher! I was a little embarrassed at first, but after seeing the change that has happened over the last 8 months, I'm not as embarrassed anymore. It works!

April- another BIG month! I started with the trip to Spain that I have been dreaming about for the last 14 years! I met up with a friend in Pamplona, and from there we flew to Rome, Italy to spend Easter. We spent Easter with the Pope at the Vatican. While I was there, I ran into a student of mine from Hillsboro, who was on a foreign exchange program in Germany! It was pretty incredible! We enjoyed Italy for a few days, then flew to Valencia Spain, where we enjoyed a week. It was a wonderful vacation! The first time that I have ever been completely away from work! So refreshing!

Also in April, my beautiful baby nephew was born. Wesley. I didn't really bond with him in the beginning, being as I kept calling him "Sam" but now we are inseparable. I keep telling my sister that being an Aunt is one of the greatest blessings in life. I hope she gets to experience it some day!

May-Another beach weekend with friends! Kim and Ali...always fun, always laughter, always relaxing! 4th Tuesday FRIENDS OF FRIENDS FOREVER!!! Also celebrated by taking my mom and Debbie (Cassie's mother in law) out to Mother's Day Tea. Had a lot of fun with them, and the most delicious tea! Dessert in a cup! Also, I got a lot of work done on my house and yard!

June- I got to be a bridesmaid in one of my best friends' wedding. It was a wonderful trip to San Antonio, hanging out with old students and friends. But it was also a bittersweet trip, as my grandparents had just gotten sick, and it was kind of a "good bye" trip for my grandma. I was able to spend a lot of time with my grandparents, cooking for them, cleaning, helping out around the house. I was also there to put my grandma in the hospital. My mom flew down and joined me, taking care of grandpa. Jen got married, and then I said goodbye to my grandma. She never really got to see the change I made in life, but I know she would be proud.

After the wedding trip, I went straight to camp. I would have left camp to go on a mission trip, but we cancelled it when grandma got sick.

July- 07/07/10 Grandma passed away.

I headed down to San Antonio to celebrate her life, and spend time with family. I was so blessed by the family and friends who came out to support us. Friends from all over San Antonio came to the viewing, the funeral, and gave me an outpouring of support. Along with that, I received so many cards, phone calls, etc. I count my blessings by how many people were there supporting and praying for my family during that time. It was also during this week that I got to bond with my nephew, Wes. I held him daily, snuggled with him constantly, and took him on as my little buddy. We became so close in that week, I think our relationship will be strong for life. But as I look back, my greatest memory from that time is of my grandpa, as he cried. He was the last one in the viewing room, came out and said "I gave her one last kiss" as he cried. This is my last memory of my grandpa. They were married 63 years and 4 days.

It was also while I was in Texas that I began to look up events to raise money for the Arthritis foundation, and discovered the "Jingle Bell Run." I decided that I was going to run it, and set out to do so.

I came back and headed straight to camp. Good week at camp. Always wonderful to be surrounded by friends!

August- took my dad on our Graduates trip, which was backpacking on Mt. Hood. It was such a wonderful trip! Truly a mountain peak experience. Hiking, feeling good. As far as my health goes, this was a big test. My dad and I were at the head of the pack, and that felt GREAT!!! We had a great time being together, and so much fun with the grads!

We came home from that mountain experience to hit a valley hard. 08/08/10 we got a call, my grandpa had been in a car accident and was killed instantly. We couldn't believe it.

So we headed back to Texas. This time I took 2 weeks to be with family. I held and snuggled Wesley as we went through yet another funeral experience. Grandma and Grandpa are together, and that's they way they wanted it. I miss them both tremendously. One of the good things that came from this trip, was that my family got to spend even more time together. We had everyone out to the lake. It was great. I also got to know some extended family better, and I just feel like my family ties (close and extended) are so much stronger. But, it has been heartbreaking watching my mom go through this, as well as my Uncle and our families.

As I look back, I am reminded of another beautiful highlight of August. I was able to watch my "baby cousin" (who is a Freshman in high school) get baptized. What an incredible moment and story of God's goodness!

September was trying to get back to normal. I did make a trip to the beach for my birthday. Alicia came down for a couple of days, so we got to hike Neahkahnie Mountain and go to the Dune to check out a Prince Cover band. That made a great birthday! Then my parents came out to spend my actual birthday with me. It was a fun weekend! Also, in September, I began my training for the jingle bell run with the "couch to 5k"

October- back to the beach with another best friend, Kim. This time we kept it low key, and it was WONDERFUL!!! Played games, read by the fire, drank coffee...it was great! As I write out my year in review, I realize that I spent a lot of time at the beach, and it was all very influential and with people that I love!

November- my work month! CPYA...another year come and gone! and it was good! Again, another great conversation with Kim, fun with friends, mentors, and students.

December- I can't believe the month is almost over! December has been wonderful! Started the month with the Jingle Bell Run! I ran it! did the whole thing, no stopping. 5k. I was able to get a team of 10 together, and met my goal! I know my grandma would have been proud, and it felt great! I now have plans to kick of the new year with another 5k at midnight New Years Eve! Also, I met my first goal, and lost 40 lbs. I took this week off from eating healthy, and I'm hurting! I will be back on track before Sunday is over! I couldn't even make it a whole week.

So a lot of life change has happened in this one "simple" year! I'm healthy, feeling good, loving life, and missing those that I love. I have been blessed by numerous relationships, and am thankful for the friendships that are growing stronger each day!

Plans for this year? Run the 5k. Train for a 10k (which I will just run for fun, not for a race). Going to Wisconsin with the besties. Greece. and make it to the mountain with Rebekah!

It's going to be a good year!

The year has been tough for me, for my family, and for some good friends of mine. But I am hopeful for the new year, and thankful for what this year has shown me and taught me.

WAHOO!!!!

I really try not to brag about myself, or to toot my own horn. I don't like making people listen to what I've done and accomplished, but today I need an outlet! And, since you CHOOSE to read my blog, you are going to get bombarded with a bunch of toots! (oh wait...)

Today, I weighed in, and learned that I have officially lost 40 lbs. I am so excited! I'm feeling so good! And now, I can truly enjoy my holidays! I'm ready to eat lots of junk, because I've earned it! That doesn't sound right, does it?

I'm going to run another 5k New Year's Eve, and have been nervous about it lately. Can I do it or not? Well, yesterday, I ran 5k with no problems. I think I'm ready now! Granted, it was on a treadmill, so it was much easier, but impressive nonetheless!

10 more lbs and I'm in my goal range! This is getting pretty exciting! I think I can do it!

But for now, I'm just happy to be where I am!

I think I will celebrate by going to get a new drivers license!

Joy and suffering

Today was a day of great accomplishment! I ran 3.1 miles, just for fun. Boy did that feel good! It's nice to run for fun for the first time, and not because I have to. I may keep up with this after all! Even thinking about kicking off the new year with a 5k.

Even in all of the goodness, my day has been filled with sadness. My parents lost a great neighbor this week. He's young, the father of 2 kids, one in 5th grade and one in 7th. He fell off the roof when he was checking the flu on his fireplace. The more I learn, the more it just breaks my heart. My parents have been through so much this year, I just can't believe it. They have lost numerous friends and family members. When does it stop? My mom reminded me of the story of Job, and how she feels like Job this year. It just breaks my heart.

Today is also December 7, the day of Pearl Harbor. This day reminds me of my friend, Warren Jones, who passed away last year. He was a Pearl Harbor survivor, and came and spoke to our Sunday school class a few times. He was one of the greatest supporters of our youth ministry. A man who changed my life. He is greatly missed. I'm also missing my grandpa today, as he is a WWII vet.

Really, it's just been a tough day. Goodness has shown itself in my students, team members, and the joy of my accomplishments, but I really miss my grandparents and loved ones. And, I just can't even imagine what this family (our neighbors) are going through right now. Please cover them in your prayers.

Thanks.

Jingle bell run

The run today was great! I feel so good about it! I had so much fun being at the event with so many people that I love, knowing that we were supporting a great cause! I know my grandma would be proud!

I would feel better about the day, except that I went into full celebration mode, not only eating lunch at Red Robins, but also going to Cinnabon with the youth group! Ugh! Next time, I'll try to keep it a little healthier. I'm actually excited now, to continue training, and run a 10k in February. I may even do the Shamrock run in March, which would be really fun to do!

I'm not sure that I'll ever take the jingle bells off of my shoes from today!

What a great feeling, what a great day!

In other news, please keep my parents' neighbor's family in your prayers this holiday season. He fell off the roof today and died. He leaves behind a loving family, a 5th grader, and a 7th grader. It's tragic that this family has to go through this at this time. Please lift them up.

thanks!

RUN

Today, I finally completed my run! I made the 3.1 miles, and now know that I can do it! I am so proud of myself! I am so excited for the run on Sunday!

Feeling good! Sunday is my big goal. The next big goal is February 10k.

Then, treat myself to a trip to Greece and Spain!

OCD much?

My roommates are doing personality tests tonight. I am a classic ENFP. But one roommate started saying that she thinks I'm a judger vs. Perceiver. I have taken this test numerous times, and rank high on the perceiver scale. After she said this, the other roommate jumped on board to say I'm a judger. So, I went and looked it up to see.

The following statements generally apply to me:

• I like to stay open to respond to whatever happens.
• I appear to be loose and casual. I like to keep plans to a minimum.
• I like to approach work as play or mix work and play.
• I work in bursts of energy.
• I am stimulated by an approaching deadline.
• Sometimes I stay open to new information so long I miss making decisions when they are needed.

I am clearly a P. I don't know why this bothered me so much. I mean, why does it matter what they think? And even so, it's probably better to be a Judger with the rest of the world. But for some reason, I felt the need to validate myself. I won't share this information with them, but I just had to know for myself. Why is it so important to me that a test tell me who I am?

I'm so irritated right now. Not with them, but to my reaction to the situation. It's my OCD coming out at it's best. Why? Why does it matter?

This is so irrelevant.

Rain is a good thing

Today's rain seems to have washed away all of my stress, and give me a sense of calmness. However, it did also make me highly unmotivated. But I can enjoy a nice storm once in a blue moon, right?

The thing is, I did get up...go for a run...and am now super motivated. However, I'm still back in my pajamas, because tonight is pajama night at youth group. Here's hoping I stay motivated in this sweet comfort!

Thoughts

I've had a lot moving through my mind today. Nothing has spurred these thoughts, just a part of the emotional roller coaster that is grief. My last conversation with my Grandpa was very vivid in my mind today. I really miss him. I can't believe that it was just 4 months ago that I lost my Grandma. And with that, began the summer that forever changed my family.

This morning I watched my baby nephew, Wes. He was so sleepy, but wouldn't lay down, so I held him all morning as he slept. The last time I held him in that way was at the funerals. We would nap together. It was so beautiful. I have such a connection, or a bond, with Wes, and I think that it all goes back to what I call "funeral time." For that, I am grateful. I love this little guy! I treasure these moments. I'm not ready for him to grow up. He'll never know why, but that will always be our bond!

So, today was spent rejoicing with Wes, and missing my Grandma and Grandpa.

Running

Today was my longest run yet. 2.5 miles. I'm almost to my goal!

I like to think that I'm enjoying it more, but I'm really not there yet! I like being done with the run, I am proud for all that I have accomplished, and I'm even in the process of signing up for a 10k race. However, I'm still having a hard time getting motivated! If I wasn't dedicating these runs, I think I would be walking half way! The dedications were a good idea, because now I can't give up! I think the 5k will be fairly easy from here. I just need to keep finding motivation!

SCENTSY!!!

Well, after turning all of my friends on to Scentsy...they finally convinced me, and I am now a Scentsy consultant! I have my first party tomorrow! I'm very excited! The pumpkin muffins are baking in the oven, and I have my alarm set for 8am, so that I can make the caramel rolls before I go to Portland on our Arepa Extraveganza! It will be a long, busy day, but I'm really excited about it! I'm even thinking about throwing a run into the mix before the day begins! Who AM I?!?! I just figure that if I run a little bit in the morning, I will feel less about eating the fried food and treats in the afternoon! :)

I'm excited for tomorrow! It's going to be a great day!

Ugh!

After such a great night last night, tonight is one of those nights that make me want to retire!

Ugh! Praying that God did something through the midst of it all!

Excitement

Tonight has been one of those nights where I'm really excited about youth ministry. I had a very productive day, but the highlight was at my meeting tonight. I have a student "interning" under me for a school project, and I started thinking about the different projects or job shadows that I have worked with kids on. I love it! I love my job! I'm so excited to be doing this, and so blessed to see how youth ministry effects their lives. It is so encouraging. Hopefully they are taking at least a chunk of it with them into the real world!

Death

As if this year hasn't been hard enough on my family. This year we lost numerous friends, my grandparents, a cousin, 2 best friends, and tonight, my parents had to put down their cat. Seriously, I'm ready for this year to be over.

Hope

I'm preaching on hope this Sunday. In contrast, I started asking myself today, "when have I been truly hopeless?" This is such a hard question. I can't really think of an answer, and when I can think of one, I'm not willing to share it with others. It surprises me when a question for others ends up being so difficult that you, yourself, can't answer it.

So, I continue to sit and ponder.

However on a cheerful side note...I'm pondering in the most perfect place right now. Mt. Tabor space. It's a coffee shop that Mt. Tabor Presbyterian church opened up, and it is perfect for today. Quiet, peaceful, beautiful, and I can hear the rain pour down outside! As I sip my peach tea, I think...oh how I love fall!

Sermon

I'm working on next week's sermon. It's something between "there is always hope," uniting as a church, and using examples from "How I met your mother" and "Apollo 13."

Right now, I have too many ideas. They are all floating around. I kind of dug myself into a hole, asking the youth band to play. I thought I would be talking more about the church, so they are ready to go with a song they picked out for that theme. Unfortunately, with everything changing, I just don't know how it's going to work out, or if it's going to mesh at all.

Too many ideas. If only I could preach more, then I could separate it some.

Although, I really like only preaching once in a blue moon.

Oh well, back to work.

Image

This weekend was WAY better than I could have imagined! The reflections from Mark led me back into the heart of God. I got excited about youth ministry again, and even kicked off tonight (senior high) in a new way! I'm so excited about what God is doing! Goes to show, when you trust God with your students, and let HIM move rather than yourself...a lot can happen! I'm so interested to hear about what the students thought of tonight. We spent time in prayer and silence, which I'm ashamed to say...I never do. When I worked at Northern Hills, we had this contemplative time on a weekly basis. I have never done it with this group. It was amazing!

After we prayed and reflected, the youth really opened up. It was a beautiful moment. I pray that they go home feeling refreshed and take time to silence themselves before God this week.

As far as the weekend goes, I have to say, it was so much fun being able to sit back and play games with other adults for hours on end. There were a lot of conversations going on at once, which was my only frustration. For an ENFP it's hard when you can't listen to each conversation. A little overwhelming. So, I didn't come home "relaxed" but I did come home with a smile on my face, and a lot of pain lifted off my shoulders.

I know I say it all the time, but I have to say it again...I am so thankful for the friends that God has put in my life, and continues to put in my life! I love to laugh, talk, and play games...and it's these moments that I cherish! My favorite moments of the weekend were about 3:10AM Saturday morning playing Wizard, and playing Bananagrams with a small group at a local coffee shop Saturday morning. I wish I could capture those moments and play them on repeat!

Retreat

I'm in a good place right now. I'm still hurting, but am healing. It's good moments of healing. You know, when you're on the edge of breaking down to cry? Okay, maybe you don't know, but to me, it feels healthy.

I'm going on a retreat this weekend. Everyone is excited about the speaker, but truthfully, I could care less. I guess I don't really know who he is. I have some of his books, but haven't read them. I've heard him speak at a few conventions, but have zoned out. However, his father was a great inspiration of mine. HIS books I read over and over.

So where as everyone is freaking out about hearing this speaker, I'm really just looking forward to getting away for a few days, journaling, and walking along the beach. I hear the speaker is all about rest, and we'll see. But for me, I'm hoping and praying for a relaxing weekend, filled with great conversations, some time to journal, and maybe a few tears.

Let the healing begin...

Training

I hate running!

But I am very excited to be training right now for a 5k for arthritis! I hate the training, but I feel so good afterwards, and am really excited to reach this goal whether or not it kills me!

Truthfully, this is my one last chance at making my grandma proud of me! I know this sounds weird, especially since she passed away this summer, but my last "REAL" conversation with her was to tell me how disappointed in me she was.

I got to see her this summer, and hoped that she saw a difference, but she wasn't in her right mind, so I will never know.

However, if I can do this one thing, and run this 5k...I know this is something that she would have been proud of.

It goes so much deeper than this, I'm not sure how much I've shared, but this summer has been the reminder of disappointments. After a year of working hard to make changes, it's come down to this. But...I'm empowering myself, and I'm going to gain all momentum back. Make a change in my life, and a change in my attitude!

And this one event will be a major milestone for this!

Dear Friends,

I have numerous friends and family members who have Rheumetoid Arthritis. I have been especially effected by this illness this year, as I watched my grandmother suffer from the effects of RA and watch my dad get back to life away from flare ups. I can't believe the difference this disease can make in a person! While I was in Texas, I decided that it was time that I do something about it! I've been working hard this year to get in shape, and decided that the ultimate goal for myself, and to honor my Grandma, Dad, and other numerous friends and family members, is to run for them!

I'm sending you this email today, because I want to ask for your support in a new endeavor!

This holiday season I will tie bells to my shoelaces and dust off my reindeer antlers as I participate in the Jingle Bell Run/Walk® for Arthritis, a 5K fun run/walk to benefit the Arthritis Foundation. And YOU can help, too!
Won’t you sponsor me in my effort to raise funds to fight one of the nation’s most common causes of disability – ARTHRITIS? Arthritis affects more than 46 million Americans, including 300,000 children, costing the U.S economy over $128 billion annually. The Arthritis Foundation needs our help.

I'm asking mostly for support with prayer and encouragement, since I hate running! Also, if you are in the area, or want to visit the beautiful northwest, I would love for you to join our team! I made a promise that I would run for this event, and I'm going to do it! I know this will be a challenge for me, but it is something I believe in! (and if you decide to travel to run with me, I have a guest room for you to stay in!)

My personal goal is to get together a team of at least 10 people to participate in this run/walk. I am also hoping to raise $500 for this cause.

Thank you again for all of your prayers and continued support during these last few months, and for the next few months as well!

Carly

Follow This Link to visit my personal web page and help me in my efforts to support Arthritis Foundation, Pacific Northwest Chapter

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http://portlandjinglebellrun.kintera.org/carlyp?faf=1&e=3722662780
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Carly Powne

Love and Relationships

Relationships have been on my mind a lot lately. Whether it be romantic relationships, or friendship relationships, I've been thinking a lot about the relationships I've been in over the years. I've realized, that I think I've been in love twice. I say "think" because I've never been "in" love, meaning, I've never had either person love me back. I still consider it love, because I would have done anything for them. One person, I did the wrong thing (like moving for them) the other person, I prayed over, and followed God's leading me to not move for them. How different life would have been if I would have listened to God the first time.

But even with all that, I do wonder what it will be like to have someone love me. Will I be able to handle it? or will I run?

I don't know what's gotten me thinking about this so much recently, or why I've suddenly decided to write it here. But for some reason, I'm in this reflection mode of life, and this is one of the biggest things I reflect on. What might have been.

But I really need to focus on what WILL be. There is a future ahead. God is calling me and molding me for something. I just don't know what that is.

I thought at this point in my life I would be settled down with a family. Sadly, I don't even feel settled down yet. I'm sitting in the house I own, on the couch I own, with my dog...and yet somehow still feel like a college student sitting in the dorm. It's weird.

But all in all, even though life hasn't turned out like I expected, I'm happy. I'm ready for that next stage in life, but who even knows what that is?

At one point, I told myself that if I wasn't married by 35, I would follow my passions for missions and move over seas. Suddenly, that's not my passion anymore. It's like everything I knew changed. And I just don't know what to do with it yet.

So does this mean that I keep doing what I'm doing for another 10 years? I don't know if I can handle that.

I hope for change. But "what" change...I don't know what that is anymore.

AMAZING!

What an amazing day! Filled with reminders of why I do what I do, and glimpses of hope for what God has in store! Got to talk with some of my past students, present students, and future students, and just feel really hopeful and excited today! God is great, and I continue to hand this ministry over to Him! Who knows what is in store, today He shook it up a little bit, but I know He's going somewhere with it! I'm getting excited!

Roller Coaster

I was going to write a blog on the funny parts of my day. How amazed I am that students can not sit still in a movie, when it seems like something they can regularly do. And talk about how great I'm doing. But then, reality hit again.

My life is a roller coaster right now. An actual roller coaster! One minute I'm fine, the next I'm about to break down. I know that this is completely normal, but it's really hard to live life this way.

A parent just wrote me and mentioned that her kid is so curious about how I can be doing so well after losing my grandparents. That's because when I saw the kid, I was doing great! But by the time I got home, I was a mess.

I know I just got back to work, but I am so ready for this weekend. I'm ready to get away. I think I'm starting to debrief and to hit reality.

And as the truth comes out, it turns out I'm not doing as well as I thought I was.

I'm hurting.

From laughter to tears in 10 minutes. Wow. The record of life.

Also keeping another friend and fellow blogger in my prayers as I write this, knowing that she has a big anniversary coming up tomorrow. Thinking of you, and remembering what a special man your dad was!

It all comes back to this...

It all comes back to this...

I'm really just looking for some guy to come sing a little Enrique Iglesias to me!

Today's word: LAUGHTER!

Today, I spent the day with my good friends, who are more like family! I spent 6 hours of just laughing and playing games! What a great break after such a tough week!

I am so thankful for the many friends that I have in my life, and for my great family!

I am blessed!

Healing

You never know what each day will bring. Today I learned that the "other guy" (you know, the guy who Grandpa hit in the accident) is the pastor at a large church here in San Antonio. It adds an interesting perspective to the accident, but I'm still not sure what yet.

Today's words: Hurt and Healing

Today was my grandpa's funeral. It brought up so much hurt and anger. I loved my grandpa. I love my grandma. But my last big conversation with my grandparents was with my grandma, almost 2 years ago now, when she sat me down on the morning of my birthday to tell me how disappointed in me she and my grandpa were.

Those words haunt me every single day. At the time, all I could say was "I wish you could see me in my element, because you would see how happy I truly am." They never took that opportunity. I made mistakes when I lived here, I didn't visit them as much as I should have. I regret that, and wish I could make the change, but I can't. I have, however, turned that around and now put family first. Before work, before ministry, before anything...my family comes first. Unfortunately, it happened after I moved, yet it still happened. I can't change the past, but I can change the future.

Today, people tried to tell me how proud my grandparents were of me. The problem is, that when they tell you point blank that you're a disappointment, it does a number on you. I don't believe that they were proud of me. I wish they were. I try to live in a way that God is proud of me, and hope that others follow and are blessed by me as well. But I can only do the best I can.

The highlight of my day? The breakdown point. The point of no return when I cried to my sister, my aunt, my cousin, and my mom. They listened. They encouraged. The cousin told me that she heard my grandparents say they were proud. Unfortunately, we will never know, I will never know. I know that if my grandparents knew I felt this way, it would be killing them. They didn't mean to make me feel this way.

That said, they were wonderful grandparents. They taught me a lot, and helped me to experience a lot. and I love them. I will miss them.

Let the healing begin.

Anger

Turns out that the emotion that I'm dealing with most this week is not sadness like I would have expected it to be. It's Anger. I just don't know what to do with this. I'm not mad at God. In fact, I'm glad my Grandma and Grandpa are now back together. But somehow, I'm just angry. Angry at the world. At everything. I'm not very much fun to be around right now. Only I can make the change, and I just don't want to. I'm wallowing in anger and self pity. How wrong is that?

I need to get over it. Shake it off, Carly, Shake it off!

Here we go again.

Well, here we go again.

It seems like I just got back from San Antonio for my Grandma's funeral. Last night, after one of the best backpacking trips I've ever been on, we got a call that my Grandpa was in a car accident and passed away. Please pray for our family during this time. My mom just started dealing with the loss of her mother, and is now dealing with the loss of her father. Please keep her, our family, and the other guy from the accident in your prayers. Thank you.

Backpacking

Tomorrow we leave for our graduates backpacking trip. I am so very excited! I haven't been backpacking since 2005, and it was in Colorado. I've never been close to home, so it will be amazing to see our local beauty!

Please keep our group in your prayers!

Stillness

I got the call this evening, my grandma passed away while I was at youth group. Such a weird mix of emotions. Sadness for the loss of a life loved. Sadness for my grandpa, and him losing the one who he loved most in life. And sadness for my mom losing her mom. I can't even imagine!

But relief, because I'm no longer waiting for the call. I got the call, and can now move into grieving mode. I'm trying to find a flight, and figure out how to get there and back, dancing around my summer schedule which picks up this week. Luckily, knowing this could happen at any moment, most everything is covered, or I am able to pass it off.

I'm kind of just sitting here in shock at the moment. Not sure what to think or do.

And, hoping to find a cheap flight.

On the bright side, I was surrounded by people I love when I got the news.

My uncle passed away when I was in high school, also on a Wednesday. I also went to youth group.

I guess it's a good place to grieve...even when you're the one in charge!

Sweet Days of Summer

This has been a wonderful, yet weird summer for me!

Wonderful, because i've been home to enjoy the summer goodness, but weird because I'm home so that I can await a call that will send me away. I'm in a mix of confusion. Waiting each day to hear how my grandma is doing, knowing that any minute can be her last. In the meantime, making the most of every opportunity of my time at home. Usually I am gone for most of the summer, but things keep getting cancelled, and I can't plan much because anything could be cancelled. It's such a weird place to be in.

But, as each day goes on, I'm enjoying the sunshine, the reminder of summer as a kid, and the opportunities to go out and be. Making the most of every opportunity!

Sharing

Is it worse to share too much or too little? It seems that both get me in trouble. Where's the happy medium? I'd like to hear what you think.

Adventure

I'm feeling the need for some sort of adventure this summer!

Since now I will be home for about a month, I'm thinking that I should go do something out of my routine. Not sure what yet, but I just have the strong urgency of an adventure.

It's time to brainstorm what to do...

Hurt

It took me a while, but I'm ready to admit. I'm hurting.

This week, I had a roommate move out, one of my youth get engaged, and I'm preparing to say goodbye to my grandparents. I hurt.

I know that God is good, and that things can change. I put my hope and my trust in Him.

But for today, I hurt.

I was hoping for redemption. For a beautiful story. It can still happen, it's just hard, when the person with whom you need to rectify with keeps cancelling on you and avoiding you.

I guess, if I'm honest with myself, I'm disappointed. I'm hurt. I'm struggling.

It's in these moments that I put down the computer and pray harder.

Old

Today I am feeling so old! My old freshmen from San Antonio are graduating college today! That means that all of my original purple peeps are college grads! Can you believe it? and the rest are in college.

Of my old students:

numerous have gotten married and started families, the oldest having a 7 year old now.

a few have joined the military and gone to war for us.

Many have graduated college

One is now an ordained pastor

Many are teachers

I believe that one is a vet

as of today, 3 are pregnant (that I know of)

It seems like half are married

Some are living overseas

and I am so proud of them all!

It's crazy being a part of their lives, it really seems like for such a short time! I can't believe how quickly time goes, and how far they've come!

But man, today I feel old!

Reflection

Today is one of those days, where I look back, and think about how much I love what I do! This has been one of those days where I am reminded of why I am in youth ministry. I love seeing people change, being a part of lives, and bringing God into what could otherwise be a hopeless situation. I love praying for my kids, and seeing how God answers prayers. Even as I type this, there's another text message, and the reminder of how God is at work.

Sometimes I wonder, is it worth is? Today is one of those days that I use to be reminded...YES!!! It is worth it! God is in control!

I'm very blessed, honored, and lucky to be doing what I'm doing. I'm so grateful that God uses me in this way. And I pray that God continues to use me, and to guide me, and to work in the lives of these youth! God is bigger...God is able...God is good!

Whew!

Today is one of those days where, as I ride home exhausted, I realize that I have worked 24 hours in the last 2 days, for a total of 48 hours in 4 days. It doesn't seem so bad as I write it out, but I will tell you...I'm exhausted! I'm hoping to make it to the gym in the morning, but we'll see! I've been doing so good lately, but this week has been a fail. I guess tomorrow starts a new week, eating right and back to the gym. I thought I was joking when I said I was going to take this week off, but sure enough, I did!

Although it's been a crazy, busy week, it has been a wonderful week too! I love seeing the college kids home for the summer! It's so much fun to hear about their freshman year! Especially since today is youth Sunday, and marks the one year moment from when they were saying goodbye! What a year it's been! Time flies so fast!

Well, there's something I need to do, but I can't remember what it is, because my brain is too full or too tired. So, I am going to sign off so that I can think about what I should be doing!

The Problem

This is the problem with having free wi-fi in the church. We are in the youth team meeting right now, and instead of listening, I'm dinkin' around on the internet, and now blogging. This is me. Not paying attention. Not doing a very good job. But, I'm not really involved with this conversation, or the next one. However, the one after that is for me! I better be paying attention by then!

Signing off so I can start a side conversation!

I'm such a good example!

Storm's a brewin'

I have had enough storms in my life lately. Now I really want a real storm...that is, a THUNDER storm! I'm feeling hopeful!

Disappointment-the story of my life right now

I hate when something gets back to you, and it is so twisted and turned around, that it really has nothing to do with what actually happened, the conversation, or what was said. I'm so frustrated/hurt/saddened right now, because something is being said about me that I "said" or "did" that holds no truth in it. Luckily, I found out about this because I was asked why I would have done this thing. But I didn't do it. The worst part is, that if people believe I did this or said this, it goes against everything I stand for, everything I preach, everything I believe in. And it makes me a hypocrite. But it's not true.

If you want the truth, just ask me. I will be honest. I try to always be honest.

Why are we so quick to believe what we hear, and go against what we know truth to be?

I'm guilty of this too.

I'm sorry that I made you believe this is what was said. It's not what was meant, and I'm pretty sure it was not what was said at all. This is why conversations should stay between two people. The game of telephone is a dangerous game.

Man, where does it end?

I went through the day dreading a few meetings. All meetings ended out well. Unfortunately, the meetings I did not dread, did not end as well. Miscommunication galore, that could cost the life of our youth program. I still hold strong to what I did was right. I know in my heart that I made the right decision for our youth program, but what about when it hurts a youth, they drop youth group/church events all together, and the family holds you to blame? I just don't even know how to handle this. I, clearly, can't write about the events here, but some may know, others may not. I feel that it is important for youth leaders to live a life of example. What do you think? How about student leaders, do they differ? Do adults differ?

I just don't know what to think anymore. But I believe in my heart that I did what was needed to be done. I try to make grace clearly known, but I just don't know. From what I hear back, it's not grace, it's judgement. This is hard for me too. I lose someone that I love and adore. I see so much in them, so much for their future. I'm so sad that this other stuff gets in the way.

So please pray for me. Pray for this situation. And if you have any suggestions, send them my way. Thanks!

Today was a good day!

Today was a good day! Things are getting better, and this week is really looking up! I leave tomorrow for our Junior High retreat, and am starting to really look forward to it!

I know this sounds funny, but I want to share some of the highlights of my day. As you well know now, I am trying to get healthier. My heart wasn't doing so well, so I decided that it was time for a change. I used my trip to Europe as my encouragement. In the month and a half since I started exercising, I went from pushing through a 20 minute workout, to now finding an hour to be easy. Not only that, today I tried running, and easily ran a mile. I couldn't even tell you the last time I ran a mile. Maybe I did it when I was living in Texas, but I know for sure that I haven't since. But more importantly, I'm feeling good, and making good decisions!

On top of that, I decided to change my attitude on Tuesday. Things are really looking up since doing so. God has definitely got me in His care, and it is the best place to be.

Did you know that today was "Pay it forward" day? One of my students and I did an experiment, and it was SUCH a neat experience! We went to our local Starbucks for coffee. We chose this Starbucks, because it is close to our church, and I know that a mix of people go there. Business men and women, mom's doing their grocery shopping, students walking home from school, people stopping to get gas, just about every walk of life. We bought a gift card, and told the barista to "pay it forward" using the gift card to buy the next few people their drinks for the day. We told her we wanted it to be anonymous, which made it really fun to watch the reactions. We sat and talked and watched people come in and out for their free drinks, surprised that it was taken care of. It was so neat! I think I want to do this again sometime! It was also really fun to see the barista's reaction when we asked her to do this experiment. It seemed to change the mood of everyone in that place, including ours. It was really fun!

I also celebrated my one year "friend-iversary" with one of my students. What an image of grace! A year ago we met, because her mom wanted me to counsel her. She had recently been arrested for shop lifting, and was getting herself in a lot of trouble. It has been so much fun to be a part of her life this year! She has grown and changed so much, and I am so incredibly proud of her! What a difference a year can make!

And to top the day off, after years of the Mavericks taking the Spurs out in the playoffs, the Spurs finally took down the Mavericks! GO SPURS GO!!!

So all in all, it's a good day!

If you've been following me on Twitter lately, I still need prayer. But things are looking up! There is hope for the future!

old blog

So, when I decided to blog again, I thought I would use my old blog and continue on. Unfortunately, I couldn't sign on. Well, today, I was trying to sign on to this blog, and managed to finally sign on to my old blog instead! Whoops! Kind of neat to take a trip to the past!

Grace and lines

How to you give grace to someone, when you have to call them out on breaking rules? I'm a person that used to see everything as black and white. Lately, it is all grey. But when it comes around to it, I want to see it for black and white. Instead, I see how I believe God wants us to live, but also the area of grace. How do we encourage others to accept grace, but not to abuse it. And if they believe they are right, how do you explain that they are making bad decisions, without telling them they are wrong? And where does grace fall in this?

Also, just because God gives grace, does that mean I should allow something to go on? Or do I call a stop to it, even if it hurts me and it hurts the person.

I am so incredibly confused right now.

Please pray for me. Pray for clarification. Pray for understanding of grace. And pray for a situation that I have to deal with.

I thought youth ministry was supposed to get easier as I learned what I was doing...I feel like I'm starting all over!

Dissappointment

Ever feel like you pour so much of yourself into one person, only to see it go out the window? The problem is, this happens over and over again. Sometimes I wonder why I even try. And what is the truth. I know what I believe and why, but sometimes even I question it. I just wish the world were black and white. I wish I had the answers. and even if I did, I wish people would listen.

Now, how do we handle that next step?

Here I go!

Here I go...

I’ve been warming up and working out for the last month, getting ready for this trip! It’s finally here! My clothes came just in time! I leave in 4 hours and 23 minutes!

I just found out that my cell phone won’t work. Completely away from my world, traveling in a new world! Crazy! I’m excited and nervous all at the same time!

This is going to be a different kind of adventure!

Away completely, and already excited to get back, see my youth group, see my friends, see my family, and see the babies!

But for now, I’m going to get lost in being away…

I’ve never completely been away from a phone since 2005!

Inspiration

Today, I started thinking about the many people I know who have lost a bunch of weight this year, but more importantly, gotten much healthier. I've decided to write them down here, so that I can remember their inspiration, that if they can do it, I can do it. These are normal people, and actually (almost) all friends of mine.

Emily S.

Jason M.

Donald Miller (so I don't personally know him, but I have seen him before and after within a year)

Robin B. (I haven't seen her, but I've been following her results on facebook, and she is a friend from high school)

I'm sure I can think of more, but especially Emily and Jason have been quite an inspiration to me this year. Maybe I can be just a little bit like them. Healthy. Thats all I want. Heart health.

WAHOO!!!

Not to sound all "Bridget Jones' Diary" on you, but I just weighed myself, and I lost 5 lbs! AWESOME!!! I'm feeling good!

Now, lets just see if that stays off while I'm in Europe! We'll see! But if I can at least keep some of it off, I'll be on my way to getting in...well,...better shape for Jen's wedding!

On another note, I'm very blessed to have found such great friends in Hillsboro! I have two friends who love "FRIENDS" as much as I do. We meet up every 4th Tuesday for dinner. We call ourselves the "Fourth Tuesday Friends of FRIENDS." These girls are so much fun, and although we are not together tonight, and we missed last week, I am still very blessed to have them in my life, and I love the time we spend together!

I've been spending a few weeks, or months, of reflection and thinking about how I've now been here longer than any other church, how is my life different. I'm still not in a small group, which is killing me, but I am realizing that I have some great friends, and a great bunch of youth workers that I work with in the Presbytery. Life is good! It's not perfect, but it is sure good!

Spending the evening with one of my best friends, and tomorrow with my best friend who just came from Idaho. A great week, to lead off to a great vacation!

Feeling Good!

Happy Monday!

It's stormy outside, and I'm feeling good! Spending the day with my handsome nephew! Realized that I can have him nap in my "Guest room/office/laundry room" and then I can clean my room while he sleeps! SCORE!!!

Today is Monday, and I leave Thursday! Wow! I can't believe it's here!

I'm feeling good! I feel like I have reached my goal of becoming healthier! Not finished my goal, but have had a good start, and so I will continue even after my trip! My heart is feeling much better, and I'm feeling in all together way better shape than I was even a month ago. I haven't lost any weight, but my heart feels strong, and that's what's most important to me! It's a great start, and hopefully just the beginning of a wonderful future!

I have only had 2 or 3 naps max in the last month! What a change!

I'm really feeling good, and am ready for Spain! Although, truthfully, I wish I still had a little more time to get in better shape. But here's hope for when I get back! I still have a mission trip and camps to work for! Oh yeah, and a wedding! I need to remember that one! That should be my main goal right now! Don't want to ruin any pictures! :)

So, even as the storm brews outside, inside, I'm feeling good and warm!

It's a good day!

Thank you!

Good friends make a world of difference!

Hurt

I'm frustrated, and I am hurt. The blog I was going to write, just contradicts itself. So I'm going to leave it at this, I'm frustrated. I'm hurting. and I hope that things change.

It's hard to fix when you don't know the issue!

Two Weeks!

Europe, here I come!

I leave two weeks from today! I can’t believe it! This morning I am up for my weekly coffee date at Insomnia. Next week is Spring Break, so I will be sleeping in. And the following week…SPAIN!!! I can’t believe that it’s here! (well, almost!)

I’m ready for a vacation! I’m glad that this week is going to be sunny and beautiful, so that I can enjoy Hillsboro before I go! Plus, next week is Spring Break, which you know is just super fun for me, because everyone is out of school, and we get to play! Then, when everyone goes back, and I sit sad and alone…I will turn my attention to packing and say “SEE YA!”

I’m starting to get really excited!

The only problem is, this is a hard time to leave. I have a lot of friends going through some tough stuff right now, and I want to be here for them. This is the time when I have to remember that they are in God’s hands, not mine. HE is taking care of them. And I can keep praying, wherever I am.

Also, 2 babies will be born while I am gone. One being my little baby nephew, “Fluffy”.

It will be hard to miss that, but this is an experience that I won’t get again. So, take it while I can, right? RIGHT!

Why do I have such a hard time leaving? It’s only 10 days!

So, in preparation, I have fulfilled my goals (other than knocking out sugar!) Although, I have cut back!

I've made it to the gym or been exercising at least 3 times a week, and been eating better. I'm in much better shape than when I began, even though it's been less than a month. I haven't lost any weight, but I feel WAY better! And, I haven't had a pop since I got my kidney stone over a month ago. It has surprised me how hard and how easy it has been to give up pop. Generally it's easy, but when I want it, when I go out to eat, it's surprised me that it has been so difficult!

So, I've got two more weeks, to keep getting in shape, and I am ready to go! I can't wait!

Day 3

Day 3 of my new life.

This day, I thought would be harder because we start the 30 hour famine today. But I managed to run all of my errands, and even make it to the gym...which was a good pre-work out to loading up my Costco cart with bottled water and juice! Then ate a hearty salad for lunch, and am good to go for the next 30 hours!

I'm feeling good, but realizing that I am much more out of shape than I thought. I'm kind of ashamed of this. But the good news is, I figured it out now, so that I can get a start on this new life!

We'll see how it goes Sunday for 2 days of nephew birthday parties!

Gym...Gym...Gym!!!

And guess what?

I'm kind of having fun with it!

36 days...and reflections of one week

36 days until I pack my bag and leave for Spain.

As I finished my many flights of the summer, I started thinking about how restless my legs become on a plane. Knowing that I would be going to Spain in April, I thought, this would be the best time to get in shape and hopefully use my legs so they won't be so restless. Well, as you can see, I've been putting that off...one more day...one more week...one more month....WELL NOW I ONLY HAVE 36 DAYS!!!

Having this kidney stone episode has been a blessing in disguise. Having my parents cook for me, and not being able to eat much, has naturally started me on a new diet. Also, while I sat in the hospital, thinking about all of the things that could have been wrong with me, I realized...NOW is the time for a change. So, with the ability to only drink juice and water for the last week, I'm continuing on this track. I may only have a month until I go to Spain, but I have a lot that I can do in that month! So, today, I started my new way of living.

3 healthy meals. I made it to the gym in the first time in....well...nevermind. But I had a great workout! I'm feeling better, and even though a month is a short time, I can still get ready for Spain, but only if I start now.

While in Spain and Italy, I am going to be doing a lot of walking. Not to mention the tour that takes you up and down over 300 stairs, I need to get ready! I'm realizing that I still have the mentality that I can do anything, but my body isn't keeping up with me anymore. And lets just be honest, I NEVER want to have a kidney stone, ever again in my life! So, it's time to start preventing what could happen!

Like I said, for the last week and a half, I have only been drinking juice and water. People say that pop can cause kidney stones. I'm not sure if that's true, but I don't doubt it! And, I had 3 big pops on the Friday before the episode, "because it was my day off!"

I'm always treating myself to "something nice, something good." Well now, that's good health! So that's what I'm doing for lent! Because it naturally started at this time, and my Spain trip is Easter weekend, I am giving up pop for lent! Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal, but without realizing it, pop has become a regular part of my diet over the last year. It's time to make a change.

And with that, I am also making the gym a part of my daily routine. I'm not just giving pop up for lent, but I'm giving Jesus my health, and my hope for a future. So even as I write this, I'm going to write down time in my day, every day, to exercise. If I can take a nap everyday, I'm sure I can go to the gym. And honestly, that's just another health issue...I'm sleeping too much.

The problem is, when my life stops (like when I'm sick) my depression acts up. And it's been acting up bad lately, so as I prayed through my day, this is what I feel God leading me to do. But I can't do it on my own, so that's why I'm posting it here. Almost for accountability. I don't want anyone mentioning it, I just want to tell the world, and hopefully give regular countdowns and updates. Call me Bridget Jones. I don't care!

So here we go...to health...to happiness...to strengthening my walk with the Lord.

Please keep me in your prayers, I need a lot of help!

36 days, it's just the beginning. it takes 30 days to form a habit...here's hoping!

"KIDNEY STONES"

As you read the title to this blog, I hope you hear the voice from "the one hundredth" episode of FRIENDS, the doctor telling Joey that he has kidney stones.

What a week this has been! I feel so out of touch, and out of the loop. I have to say, it's been nice to have a week off, but the guilt overcomes me. I am a workaholic. I should always be doing something more, and deep down...that frustrates me. I don't know if its the drugs or what, but I have some of my biggest moments of doubt, and reflections of why I'm in ministry when I'm on pain killers. That's probably not the best time to do so.

Today, I headed back to church, and it was great to be around family and friends. Yes, like a 15 year old with her first job, my parents had to drive me, but I've really been enjoying the time that I've been spending with them this last week...even if I was knocked out for most of it. It's really nice having my parents so close, especially having my mom at the hospital with me. I have been so blessed to have them taking care of me, even taking care of me to the point of getting me back to work.

Tomorrow is a new day. I head back to the urologist, in hopes that they will blast these things out! One week is long enough!

But today, I consider myself blessed!

Valentines day for the CCA

Every year, 105.1 the buzz does a 28 hour "telethon/auction" called "Valentines day for the CCA." Every year, I spend the day listening to stories of children with cancer, who have overcome the odds, or who are battling it in the moment. Every year, each story touches my heart. CCA is the Childrens Cancer Association. If you are interested in making a donation, it's not too late. You can find information on www.1051thebuzz.com or call 1-877-656-5437 to make a donation. I guess this is a cause that is really close to my heart. When I was nine years old, my bone marrow shut down, I had no red blood cells, and the doctor told my parents that I had leukemia. That night, I had a blood transfusion, and my church surrounded me in prayer. The next day, the doctors came in and told me that they don't know what happened, but I was healthy and could leave. I spent the next few days, weeks, months, and still years checking my blood count regularly, but only had to deal with anemia. I've always thought about what might have been, or how things could have turned out so differently. I was so lucky. I AM so lucky!

These families are going through the toughest news of their lives, the kids are fighting cancer, and it is a disease that is tearing families apart. I have lost two close children to me to cancer. One child I used to babysit, and another from church. This year, another family in our church lost a child to cancer. It is something that causes so much pain to families, and to those around them. CCA helps to cushion the blow, it's not much, but it is something. Kids get "chemo-buddies" to help them take their mind off of the illness. CCA offers music programs, and many other programs to help kids. In addition, they have a cabin where families can go, be safe, and have a place to be together. They also provide plane tickets to families to be able to be with the children. CCA cares for the children, as well as their families. I believe in this cause.

So, if you can, think about giving to this cause. See what you can do. Every little bit helps!

Even buying a pizza from PAPA MURPHYS any time before 11 tomorrow, $1 from each pizza goes to CCA. You can even get their heart shaped pizza for only $7.99. We had pizza for dinner tonight, and it was wonderful knowing that we were helping a greater cause.

Tune in to 105.1 the buzz to hear more stories, and testimonies from the kids

Got my "Mitch Lat!"

This weekend was absolutely wonderful! My two best friends from San Antonio, Jen and Lori, came to visit. It was such a wonderful weekend, and I feel re-charged! We spent the weekend at the beach, shopping in Cannon Beach and Seaside, playing games at the cabin, and just spending time being together. It was absolutely wonderful! I am so blessed by my friends. I am so thankful for the people in my life that God has blessed me with!

When we returned from the beach, I had a note in my inbox from a friend in Mexico, that we work with on our mission trips. She was in Cannon Beach and wanted to get together. Sadly, I had just returned, but no fear...she stopped by on her way to Portland, so I still got to see her and say hello. I'm really excited about this year's mission trip...we are taking people of all ages, including my mom! I am so excited to share this part of my life with her. Seeing Ineke really got me excited to serve, and ready to go back. Even in the short conversation that we had, I was brought to tears. I am so excited for what this year holds.

So all in all, it was a great weekend! Also, just for kicks...the Saints won the Superbowl, which happens to be the team I was rooting for. When Katrina hit, they spent a year playing in the Alamodome, so I felt like I was almost rooting for a SA team!

Great weekend, good friends, many blessings!

More on living

-I have pet a manatee

-I have been chased by a rattle snake

-I have ridden an elephant

-I have ridden a camel

-I have been on a safari

-the first car I ever drove alone was a Model T Ford

-I have been parasailing

-I have been rock climbing

-I have rafted the 6th dangerous river in North America

-I grew up waterskiing, snowskiing, and rafting

-I love backpacking

I keep thinking of these things, and then forgetting, so I will add as I go along. As for now, I better get to Praise Team practice!

Get Motivated

I have the hardest time getting motivated on the days that we have all nighters. Tonight's all nighter is going to be AMAZING! I'm really looking forward to it. I think I'm ready, and all is good to go, but as I realize that I have to leave in 45 minutes, I just don't feel ready yet. I took a nap. I should have energy, but fighting this illness all week has really knocked me out. So, I need to spend some time praying and changing my attitude to being one that is ready to go! I know we're going to have a great time! I know it will be awesome! So I need to be ready to go!

Let's go!

I'll tell you what we did, tomorrow!

I have LIVED life!

I started thinking this morning, and realized that I have done some really cool things in my lifetime! I wonder if I share these stories, I think most go forgotten, but I should start sharing. It's kind of neat to look back, and realize where the journey has taken me. So, I want to start making a list, and go little by little, about some of the amazing things that I have done in my lifetime.

- I have lived in Oregon, Idaho, Texas, and Washington

-I have travelled to over 28 states, and 9 countries

-I lived in Venezuela

-I met the President of Guyana, and had a private meeting with him about how we can better serve his country

-I have been peed on by a lion, amongst many other animals

-I have fluently spoken a foreign language

-I went to college

-I have made friends from all over the US and world, and kept in touch with many of them.

-I have worked at 5 churches and ran a Young Life club

-I started youth ministry right out of high school, and am still loving it as a full time ministry today.

-I have been on TV

-I was a smile winner on "Ramblin' Rod"

-I have been interviewed on the radio

-I have been camping

-I was on the ski team

-I participated in sports and music in high school

-My parents have fully supported me in anything I have ever done

-When living in Venezuela, I experienced a political coup

-I have lived in the desert, on the Puget sound, in the city, and in the country

-I have seen beautiful works of God's creation all over this world

-I have led numerous mission trips, including an all church mission trip to Guyana, which included people from ages 12-75

-I have seen or stood next to numerous famous people, including Barbara Bush, Ice-T, The Mowerys, Billy Graham, and shook the hand of Luis Palau, and Shaun Groves

-I sang in a back up choir for Michael W. Smith, Avalon, Twila Paris, and many others

-I sang in the Billy Graham Crusade Choir

-I spoke at my first retreat when I was a senior in high school

-I have ridden the world's tallest, fastest, wooden roller coaster

-I have seen the worlds tallest free falling waterfall

-I have been to the largest waterpark in the US

-I have been on family vacations, with families other than my own

-I was in the first group of campers at the Young Life camp, Wildhorse Canyon

I have done some really cool things in my life. I'm going to continue this list later, but for now, it's time to go meet my friends for our "4th Tuesday Friends of Friends" celebration!

Relaxation Station

If there is one thing that I have learned over the last few years, it's the blessing in visiting old friends. There's something about coming to Idaho that relaxes me more than anywhere else on earth, and that includes going to the beach! Coming here is a joy of spending time with my best friend, doing nothing. Everytime, it is as if no time has passed. Not to mention, I usually come home with a new favorite movie, TV show, and favorite recipes!

To be able to do nothing, and enjoy time...that is a beautiful thing!

Blessing

Tonight we had our house blessing. It was such a special time, having 30 close friends and family, come into our home to pray over it, to pray over my life. It was beautiful! It's not just a housewarming or party, but it was a time to bring God into this home, and into all of the things we will do here. It was great to turn this place over, with a group of friends, mentors, family, practically family, and even my youth. I am truly blessed. I am blessed to be in this place, to be with these people, to be in this home. I am blessed!

Silence and home

I'm sitting in my living room, in silence, listening to the rain on the roof. I love moments like these. I'm coming up on the one month mark of owning my house. I always wondered what house living would be like vs. apartment living. What I imagined is true. The TV is on a lot less, I'm reading more books, I'm enjoying the sound of the rain, watching Daisy chase birds, and just staring out my window. House life is great!

Even now, I need to finish cleaning to get ready for my house blessing tomorrow, but I am enjoying the silence a little too much. I am so relaxed, and enjoying the life I dreamed of living. Who can believe it?

Yes, home ownership has its downfalls (like having to get rid of your own mice....or really, just having mice for that matter) but it is a great thing.

Today, I sit, read, and enjoy the silence. Pure Bliss.

Checking out Different Blogs

So, I'm figuring this whole blog thing out. I was checking out my blog, to see what I had written last, and noticed there was a "next blog" button. Curious, I checked it out. I'm guessing this is where they suggest blogs like yours, or the one you are reading. If that's the case, somehow I think I'm supposed to be writing about life as a mom, and the birth of my next child. It's really weird. At first I was excited because it was different women talking about their faith, but then I started realizing that it was mostly women, and raising their family and keeping their faith. So, should I go ahead, get married, and have kids so that I can join the blog line?

I'll keep that in mind!

Students of the past

I was checking out people on facebook, and I came across one of my old students. This is one of those kids that I lost contact with, but have always wondered about, and even worried for. This is so encouraging, and such a great reminder that these kids are in God's hands and not our own. Here's what he wrote...

I am a servant of Jesus Christ. I dream of living a life as close to the example of Jesus as I can, and I dream of living a life free of hypocrisy and facades. I hate religion and I want to live as free from it as I can. Religion is something a person does at a certain time and place while people are watching them and giving them credit for what they do. A relationship with Jesus Christ is a way of living life that is 24 hours per day and 7 days per week, whether people are watching or not. My goal is to live a life that shows love to everyone I come in contact with, and not some "love" that only hopes to get something in return or because I think God will reward me for showing "love" to people. He sees my heart and I can't hide anything from Him, and I hope I love people unconditionaly simply because I love them. I want people to know that they have value regardless of what they can do, regardless of their looks, who their friends are, their personality, or even their identity. It's their very existance on this earth that is so valuable, and that should be a good thing to hear, because they don't have to do any thing at all in order to measure up and be "good enough". I hope I use any blessings and gifts God has given me only for Him and not for myself. My greatest desire is to know God intimately. My second greatest desire is to see people accept the gift of salvation for which Jesus is the sacrifice. I will go wherever the Lord tells me to go, and wherever I do go, I want to worship and bring the message of the gospel. I want God to be glorified. I love Allison xxxxx and I want to unconditionally love her all the years of my life. God is what I love to talk about more than anything, and if that ever changes, please kick me or something because something would be dreadfully wrong

One more try

After reading old blogs, I've decided to give this a try again. Unfortunately, I can't sign on to my old account, so I'm starting all over. Here we go...