Thoughts

I've had a lot moving through my mind today. Nothing has spurred these thoughts, just a part of the emotional roller coaster that is grief. My last conversation with my Grandpa was very vivid in my mind today. I really miss him. I can't believe that it was just 4 months ago that I lost my Grandma. And with that, began the summer that forever changed my family.

This morning I watched my baby nephew, Wes. He was so sleepy, but wouldn't lay down, so I held him all morning as he slept. The last time I held him in that way was at the funerals. We would nap together. It was so beautiful. I have such a connection, or a bond, with Wes, and I think that it all goes back to what I call "funeral time." For that, I am grateful. I love this little guy! I treasure these moments. I'm not ready for him to grow up. He'll never know why, but that will always be our bond!

So, today was spent rejoicing with Wes, and missing my Grandma and Grandpa.

Running

Today was my longest run yet. 2.5 miles. I'm almost to my goal!

I like to think that I'm enjoying it more, but I'm really not there yet! I like being done with the run, I am proud for all that I have accomplished, and I'm even in the process of signing up for a 10k race. However, I'm still having a hard time getting motivated! If I wasn't dedicating these runs, I think I would be walking half way! The dedications were a good idea, because now I can't give up! I think the 5k will be fairly easy from here. I just need to keep finding motivation!

SCENTSY!!!

Well, after turning all of my friends on to Scentsy...they finally convinced me, and I am now a Scentsy consultant! I have my first party tomorrow! I'm very excited! The pumpkin muffins are baking in the oven, and I have my alarm set for 8am, so that I can make the caramel rolls before I go to Portland on our Arepa Extraveganza! It will be a long, busy day, but I'm really excited about it! I'm even thinking about throwing a run into the mix before the day begins! Who AM I?!?! I just figure that if I run a little bit in the morning, I will feel less about eating the fried food and treats in the afternoon! :)

I'm excited for tomorrow! It's going to be a great day!

Ugh!

After such a great night last night, tonight is one of those nights that make me want to retire!

Ugh! Praying that God did something through the midst of it all!

Excitement

Tonight has been one of those nights where I'm really excited about youth ministry. I had a very productive day, but the highlight was at my meeting tonight. I have a student "interning" under me for a school project, and I started thinking about the different projects or job shadows that I have worked with kids on. I love it! I love my job! I'm so excited to be doing this, and so blessed to see how youth ministry effects their lives. It is so encouraging. Hopefully they are taking at least a chunk of it with them into the real world!

Death

As if this year hasn't been hard enough on my family. This year we lost numerous friends, my grandparents, a cousin, 2 best friends, and tonight, my parents had to put down their cat. Seriously, I'm ready for this year to be over.

Hope

I'm preaching on hope this Sunday. In contrast, I started asking myself today, "when have I been truly hopeless?" This is such a hard question. I can't really think of an answer, and when I can think of one, I'm not willing to share it with others. It surprises me when a question for others ends up being so difficult that you, yourself, can't answer it.

So, I continue to sit and ponder.

However on a cheerful side note...I'm pondering in the most perfect place right now. Mt. Tabor space. It's a coffee shop that Mt. Tabor Presbyterian church opened up, and it is perfect for today. Quiet, peaceful, beautiful, and I can hear the rain pour down outside! As I sip my peach tea, I think...oh how I love fall!