It's amazing how words stick with you! I think that I have forgiven and moved on, yet I have realized that one of the last conversations I ever had with my grandma is the conversation that fuels me. It's because of this conversation that I run. It's because of this conversation that I am so excited for my next race.
My next race is going to be in San Antonio, and is a half marathon. It goes along my grandma and grandpa's favorite places in SA. Because of this, I feel the need to run this half. I have some personal goals for this half, but mostly, it is to run where my grandparents were. Then, at the end of the race, I am going to eat at their favorite restaurant and then go visit their gravesite. I realize that this is a bit unconventional, but there is something about it that is bringing me hope and healing as I train for this event. The last time I was so fired up about a race was the first 5k I ran, which I also ran in my grandma's honor. I can't wait to visit their grave and say...Look at what I did! Look at who I am! And hopefully, I will feel some sort of closure and/or accomplishment!
In the end, she got her way! My lifestyle has changed, I am doing a lot more now than I ever had before. But I also know that if she were here, she would still be disappointed in my shape, my size, and in many of my life decisions. But the thing is, I am enjoying life. I am happy! I am proud of where I have come from, and excited for where I am going! I love life! The past, present, and excitement of the future, I love it all! And that's what keeps me going!
So, I know this is going to be a very emotional race, filled with ups and downs, but in the end, I am the one who is going to be proud. I have reached so many of my goals this year, and have so many more within reach...and THAT is a great thing!
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