Life of adventure or stuck in a rut?

I've been reading a bunch of blogs tonight, catching up on old friends, and what not. It seems like almost everyone has a blog about their family and kids. I feel like I'm missing out on something. It's such a weird thing, because I do appreciate the freedom of my life, and that I can do what I want, when I want to. I love sleeping in and staying out late, but I just feel like I'm missing out on something. It's such a weird thing to complain about, since I don't even put myself out there. I just always believed that God would bring that perfect guy to me. Unfortunately, when I thought he had, the guy didn't get the same message! Oh well, all in God's plan.

I guess I'm kind of feeling sorry for myself tonight. Truth is, I can't wait to get married and have a family. But at the same time, I really do love and enjoy my life right now. I don't want to grow up! I love having my game room outside. Planning parties for the youth group. I love having "pick me up" nights in Portland... you know, where a friend calls and you head out the door at 9:30pm to go meet them at some random pub.

It's a weird mix of feeling like I have everything, and that I'm missing out on something big. I just don't want my ENTIRE life to be the youth group. I don't think that's healthy, but I sure do enjoy them and our crazy last minute get togethers. I guess I associate having a family with having balance, and that's not true if you don't work for it.

Maybe I shouldn't be blogging so late at night, I don't feel like I'm making much sense, and I think I'm being too vulnerable.

So, if you're reading this, just know, I am content with life, and excited for the changes of the future!

Also, my favorite thing about being single, is traveling! I love that I can pick up and go, and go to amazing places! I'm not sure that I'm ready to give that up!

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. But in reality, I've got a pretty good life! I'm too selfish to give it up! If I could just have the best of both worlds...