Life of adventure or stuck in a rut?

I've been reading a bunch of blogs tonight, catching up on old friends, and what not. It seems like almost everyone has a blog about their family and kids. I feel like I'm missing out on something. It's such a weird thing, because I do appreciate the freedom of my life, and that I can do what I want, when I want to. I love sleeping in and staying out late, but I just feel like I'm missing out on something. It's such a weird thing to complain about, since I don't even put myself out there. I just always believed that God would bring that perfect guy to me. Unfortunately, when I thought he had, the guy didn't get the same message! Oh well, all in God's plan.

I guess I'm kind of feeling sorry for myself tonight. Truth is, I can't wait to get married and have a family. But at the same time, I really do love and enjoy my life right now. I don't want to grow up! I love having my game room outside. Planning parties for the youth group. I love having "pick me up" nights in Portland... you know, where a friend calls and you head out the door at 9:30pm to go meet them at some random pub.

It's a weird mix of feeling like I have everything, and that I'm missing out on something big. I just don't want my ENTIRE life to be the youth group. I don't think that's healthy, but I sure do enjoy them and our crazy last minute get togethers. I guess I associate having a family with having balance, and that's not true if you don't work for it.

Maybe I shouldn't be blogging so late at night, I don't feel like I'm making much sense, and I think I'm being too vulnerable.

So, if you're reading this, just know, I am content with life, and excited for the changes of the future!

Also, my favorite thing about being single, is traveling! I love that I can pick up and go, and go to amazing places! I'm not sure that I'm ready to give that up!

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. But in reality, I've got a pretty good life! I'm too selfish to give it up! If I could just have the best of both worlds...

Race #2

Race #2= SUCCESS!!! I did it, a two race weekend! I feel great! I'm debating about taking tomorrow off or not. I'll see how I feel. Either way, I'm taking it light. I was supposed to do a 5 mile run tomorrow for my training, but I'll see. I may just do a 3 or 4 miler, and do the 5 next week. I think I'm back to the place of enjoying running, which is a good place to be! Now, I hope I can keep this up through Suttle Lake camp. That's the only week of my summer that I'm worried about, but I've got one more month to prepare!

It was fun to run with my kiddos today, and to be a part of the community with them.

Good times!

And now, the H2O challenge is over. I've had my cup of coffee, so you can believe there will be no Sunday afternoon nap! But I have a quiet house, and a few hours to kill. A nice relaxing afternoon at home. You gotta love it! I am grateful!

Back on track

After gaining back almost 20 pounds, today I kicked off healthy eating again! So far, so good! I started this morning running a 5k. I may have gained back some weight, but I'm still ahead of where I was a year ago! I still can't believe it! I'M signing up to run stuff for fun!?! Tomorrow I have another 5k, and afterwards will have a big cup of coffee, because our water challenge will be over! I swear, by cutting out drinks, I made up for the loss with chocolate chip cookies, and found myself in a world of trouble! Oh well, today is a new day! And tomorrow will be too!

It feels good to be making some changes in my life. I am thankful for friends who keep me accountable, and encourage me along this journey. They say good friends are hard to find, well, I consider myself extra blessed!

A run in the sun

I just went for what was supposed to be a 2 mile run, half way through my first mile, I got bored, and decided to try a new route. Had a great run, was pushing myself (because I get bored easily) and knew that I would be amazed at my new distance when I got home. Made it home, feel really good, really accomplished. Logged it in. 2.65 miles. That's it?! Man, I was sure I outwitted myself and ran 5 miles or something without even realizing it! Oh well, I'll try again next time! :)

Youth ministry struggles

As I began to write this blog, I got stopped. So many thoughts, feelings, frustrations. I don't think I should say anything. I just need prayer.

I am reminded of grace, but am struggling to find it.

My heart hurts for these kids, for these families.

Lord, hear our prayers.

Where to begin?

Where do I even begin?

Exciting things have been happening. My faith has been turned upside down/inside out/and right side up again. Things in life are coming together, while other things are falling apart. It's been the good, the bad, and the ugly. And now...it's the REALLY good!

I got a call from my parents last night telling me that they would be singing in Bethlehem right after Christmas. I vaguely remember them telling me about this. Anyways, they told me that the company just opened up the trip to friends and family! Did I want to go? If so, I needed to sign up a week ago. WHAT?!?!

So, today has been a crazy day, trying to get a hold of my pastor while he's on vacation, talk to the session, and my youth co-mission, but all is looking good! Lord willing, I will be going to Israel in December! How cool is that?! I'm super excited! Now I just hope I can raise the money!

Today has been one of those days where I am thankful that I'm still single. I know I wouldn't have gotten a last minute phone call to travel the world if I was married or had a family. This is one of those days that I count my blessings, and know that someday, God will have the right guy out there for me, and I'll be willing to change. Until then, I'm living it up!

I've been wanting to blog about some of the other stuff going on for a while, but don't know how to word it. Now that I have time, I can't remember all that I wanted to say. Maybe tomorrow I will finish those thoughts.

But for now...I'm jumping for joy!

Time's been good

It's been quite a month! Let's see, in the last month, I have been to the Bahamas, Greece, France, and Spain. Tomorrow I find out how much weight I have gained officially, but I'm not worried! I worked hard for this, and I enjoyed my vacations to the fullest!

Today I tried to go for a run, for the first time in 2.5 weeks. I was impressed! I made it 2 miles. But boy was it tough! I guess all of the fried food, sugar, and wine caught up with me! But tomorrow is a brand new day! Tonight I made a healthier dinner (although I wasn't able to eat it because the chicken had gone bad). It's the thought that counts, right? I did have some zucchini for dinner, that's a start.

Someone asked me yesterday when the last time I had a vegetable was. Not fried? Ummm.... it had been a while!

But like I said, I enjoyed every minute of it! The weight came off once, it will come off again. And running 2 miles, is still further than I could run even 6 months ago. So I'm in a good place!

Today I got to catch up with an old friend, babysit the boys, and went for a run. It was a good day!

And tomorrow is a fresh start!

I love this place that I'm at in life right now! It feels good to be me!