Shake up

I'm feeling a bit gloomy tonight, and I'm not really sure why.

It could be one of many reasons.

I lost a friend today.  A man from my church, I grew up with him, he was always a part of church life.  He sang in the choir with my parents, and was one of those people who was just always around.  I guess I'm now realizing that we don't all live forever, and my church is not only going through a change with a new pastor, but we are losing people who have always been a part of church life, they are getting old, they are passing away, and I am very aware of the change all around me.
I think I'm sadder about this loss than even I realized at first.  Dale will be greatly missed!

I also had one of those "realization" days when you know who doesn't like you.  It doesn't feel good.  In all fairness, I don't care for certain people either, but it doesn't make it any easier.  I wish we could be civil.

One bright side of my day was finding out some really good news from a friend!  That was my rejoicing for the day!

I don't know who reads this blog, or if anyone reads this blog, so I keep it kind of vague.  However, I prayed for a shake up this year.  I prayed that God would shake up my life, because I feel like I've been in the same place mentally for 10 years now.  Physically I have moved around, but life around me seems the same.  Honestly, I was hoping that the shake up would be a family, the start of a new life.  And to be fair, knowing that I was praying for a shake up, I knew that anything could happen.  Last time, I thought 30 was my year!  And it was!  But it was not the year that I met the man I am going to marry, instead it was the year that I learned the importance of family, and lost my grandparents.  It was the year that I decided to make a change in my health.  It was one of my greatest years of life.

And this year could be too!  It's not what I expected, but a shake up is a shake up.  I'm still in wonder about what is happening around me, but I know one thing...nothing will ever be the same.